Sunday, February 8, 2015

a goal for confidence.

Last week as I was driving to a Dr appointment for the 2 littles, I had a thought hit me light a bolt of lightning. It was odd, really. I had not been thinking about anything in particular, but this thought was clear as day. I decided to choose a "One Little Word" for 2015 right then and there.

Confidence.

As I sat in the office that day, the kids playing at my feet waiting for the Dr, I thought of this word. The Dr came in and made small chat with me. She casually mentioned how smart Sabrina was, and used the Lord's name in vain in the process. Devin immediately perked up, and told her that wasn't a word we use. Well, what should have been a PMM, it turned into something very different. The Dr immediately questioned Devin as to who taught him this, and that it wasn't something bad to say. 

I was embarrassed. I wanted to crawl in a hole. I didn't know how to handle the situation. I tried to change the subject, and Devin went back to playing.

I couldn't help but realize as I loaded the kids back in the car, I did indeed need to work on my confidence. Of course as I drove home I thought of a million things I could have said, but none of those came out when I needed them to.

Although people see me as an outgoing person, and some even were baffled at the idea that I need to work on my confidence...I really do. 
I have always had a hard time standing up for myself. I have definitely gotten better at it, but I would like to think I can always strive to become something more.

So, 2015 is my year to be confident. I want to try new things, meet new people, be good at standing up for something I believe in. I want to be confident in my body, and the way I carry myself. I want to have confidence in my knowledge of parenting my children, and decisions I make in our home. 

I have a good feeling about it, I will keep you posted.