Tuesday, March 6, 2012

the mother's room.

For you Non-Mormon folk, this rant probably won't make sense.

For those who don't use the mother's room at church, this rant will either be all the reasons you don't...or the reason you will never want to.

AND just to preface this, I am a moody pregnant woman...and I don't mean to offend ladies in my ward, just inform.

***

I had always been excited to use the mother's room. It felt like a really cool club you belonged to when you were nursing a baby.  Since I didn't nurse Savannah, I never felt like I could go in that "special" room. I know it sounds stupid, but true. I could make bottles in sacrament meeting without ever leaving my seat, and if I am being totally honest...Paul was way better at getting Savannah to sleep, so I would have never been the one to take her out anyway.

I was so excited to finally use the mother's room with Devin, until I figured out what really happens in there.

Don't get me wrong, it can been a slice of heaven when you have a bunch of respectful ladies using it. But just like always, it only takes one person to ruin it.

On Sunday Devin was struggling during sacrament.  Normally I would just walk the halls, rocking him, and hope he falls asleep.  It has become way to complicated with pregnancy to do what seems so simple...so I thought I will go rock him in one of those semi-comfy chairs in the mother's room.

No one was in there. I turned the volume down on the speaker so it was just audible, and we rocked. I thought we had a good thing goin'.

Well, then I lost count after the 5th person came in to change their child's poopy diaper, leaving said poopy diaper in the pail, and leaving the room. They didn't come to nurse, and then maybe needed to change a diaper...it was for the purpose of changing a nasty. Not only that, most of them were not babies...they were toddlers or older.

You know who is left in the room to smell that nasty poopy you changed...while you went back to your business? ME, people...or other poor woman in the middle of nursing a baby. 

Who likes to smell poop...!? Am I the only one that finds this completely disrespectful? Why would you use the mother's room to change a poopy diaper when there is a perfectly good changing station in the BATHROOM!! I mean people going into the bathroom are expecting it to not smell great.  When I go in a room to nurse my baby, rock my baby to sleep, and listen to the meeting...I don't want to smell poop for 30 minutes.

Is there no unwritten code or etiquette for using this room?  Please tell me this is not normal.  If it is, I am going to be the woman in sacrament meeting whipping out my goods without going in the mother's room, because honestly I can't handle all that stank...

End Rant.

PS I know I sound dramatic over poop, but seriously.

16 comments:

Nicole said...

This was a huge deal for me when I was nursing Beth. My friend who also had a baby at the same time posted a note asking people to not change poopy diapers in the the mother's room or if they had to then to use a bag that we provided under the sink and dispose of them in a different garbage receptacle. We also didn't understand why people didn't just use the restroom especially for toddler aged children. So just know you are not alone.

Rachel@I Heart Crafty Things said...

Amen Sister!! I was so annoyed about it that I considered just whipping my boob out in Sacrament Meeting but then I found out the churh came out years ago declaring Mothers couldn't do that. ???? If that's the case, they should definitely make some sort of rules about the Mothers Room.

Tiffany said...

I feel the same way!! Fine come in and change your baby in there but then throw away said nasty in the garbage IN THE BATHROOM! Seriously, so rude!!!

dust and kam said...

We don't have much of a mother's room in our church... and well... I never use it. (We don't have baby changing stations either, so the SMALL counter in the "mother's room" is the only option... unless you are like me and go find an empty room) The one nice thing... the diaper pail is in the bath room (It's all one room with just a little cubby with two terribly uncomfortable chairs for the mother's room). Nice. I never really knew how nice that was, until now. :)

I am hoping for a fresher smelling Mother's Room for you!

Jerilee E. said...

so, SO gross. That is really just rude. They see you in there trying to get your child to sleep and think "hey, I bet she'd like to sit in here with a bunch of stinky crap diapers". Use the changing table in the bathroom- where poop is supposed to go. (I know some older buildings don't have changing tables in the bathrooms, but ours does and it's for a reason... for changing diapers!)

Richters Victory said...

That sucks! I am not mormon, but it is nice that your church has a mothers room. It is also very disrespectful that people abuse the privilege. Maybe you need to start a mothers room committee. Set RULES that should be followed in this room!!! To me it seems like absolutely NO COMMON SENSE... To me the first thought when I read your title was wow, they have a nice place for the people of your church to nurse or rock your children. Never in 1 million years would I have thought this post was about POOP! seriously...disrespectful!!!

Rebecca said...

Ima go one step further and say they should be thrown in the dumpster. That smell lingers, sweet sistahs! :)

Alyssa said...

ehh gross.. I wish our bathrooms had a changing station.. I usually go out to the car and change my daughter's stinky diapers. I wouldn't want anyone to have to experience one of hers...

Vanessa said...

Ok ok so I have a hard time relating cause we don't have diaper changing stations. Just the mothers room. Sometimes we will wheel the little trash can to the main bathroom so people will HAVE to throw them out in there. I have always hated mothers rooms personally.

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

I should take pictures so you can see how ours is set up. It is not joined with the bathroom...it is on the other side of the building from that. Totally separate.

Krystal said...

ok, so I don't have kids... and I'm not trying to be insensitive to the situation... but the term "mother's room" implies that it is for all things related to mothering... which includes diaper changing... many buildings (especially the older ones in my area) don't have entirely separate rooms (which it sounds like that's what you're talking about??) so perhaps the moms aren't aware that's there is a changing station elsewhere in the building... a lot of the old churches have the diaper pails in the same area with the counter and chairs that are often used for nursing... (and at the church I attended growing up, the "mother's room" consisted of a counter, mirror, and 2 metal folding chairs... I think a curtain was added later, but that was it... no "semi-comfy" chairs or anything of that nature)... I don't think people are doing it to be rude, but they probably don't know that your building has another place to go and change the diapers...

I don't know... it's just that people often find things like this to get offended over and leave the church... if it's really that big of a deal, take it up with the bishops -- they have a building committee that's in charge of cleaning, securing the building, etc... perhaps they could put up a sign or something?? At the church I go to now (which is near your house), there is a sign outside the nursery room that tells parents very explicitly that if their child is sick in any way (and it lists examples), then they cannot leave their child at nursery... I'm sure that sign has not always been around, and by someone speaking up, they created it and now have it posted for all to see and follow the rule. after being so sick last week, I would love to post a sign like that outside my classroom!! Come on now, this isn't rocket science. Don't send your kid to school sick!!

Vanessa said...

ah no. you don't bug the bishop about stuff like this. the poor man has so much to deal with.

Personally I would leave a nice note on the door saying, please dispose of your #2 diapers in the main bathroom so we can nurse stench free. with a big smiley face :) on the inside of the door so only the people leaving the mothers room see it.

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

I would think people with children in diapers would know there was a changing station in the bathroom before they would look in the mother's room...I can even tell you most restaurants that do and don't have changing stations, it is just that important.

Heather said...

All they need is a sign on the door, "Diaper change? Please use the bathroom change table instead."

The Starkers said...

There are other places to change your baby then in the mother's lounge, which really is meant for nursing your baby. Ya it doesnt say "breastfeeding room" but that is what it is. I have only had someone come in once to change a stinky diaper while I was in there nursing. Its fine if its a an only breastfed baby because their poops dont stink, but a toddler? Eww I do think that is rude. Especially if they see a Mom in there nursing and do it anyway. That room is small! Anyway I occasionally read your blog though you don't know me, but I really agree on this! I just hope I can someday have enough guts to just breastfeed out there in the foyer or in sacrament meeting. Though I'm breastfeeding #3 and still feel like I need to seclude myself with other nursing moms. Oh well my 6 month old is easily distracted now so the mothers lounge is my only option.

jakell said...

I agree the ward we just moved from has a SMALL mothers room with a changing station as well as a changing station in the bathroom. Our ward currently had 30+ babies 10 months and younger..no joke. The Mothers room is always packed (only 2 rockers, 3 metal chairs and you often see 1 or 2 moms sitting on the floor!) Even with 5 or 6 of us in there nursing I have seen mothers with toddlers come change their child and leave the poopy diaper in the pail that still stinks up the room. Many of us have commented about it and talked about the same things being mentioned here. We even had one lady change the diaper and somehow it fell on the floor and got all over the carpet. She didn't even care to try to clean it up. Nasty. Its possible where there are soooo many young toddlers and babies in the ward the other one was being used but they could still take the stinky diaper elsewhere. I agree it should be common sense and is extremely rude. I say post a note and see if it helps :)